Saint Mary's

Be curious about the observed behaviour that concerns you. State specifically what you’ve noticed and ask an open-ended question or make a general statement to give the student an opportunity to talk about what might be happening for them. The more private and safe the setting the more they may share. 

“I haven’t seen you around lately. How are you doing?”

Listen to understand more so than to respond. Summarize and reflect back the student’s sharing to communicate you heard them while giving them an opportunity to correct any errors. Remember we communicate our listening non-verbally, as well. 

“It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.” 

Thank the student for sharing with you and ensure they know that asking for help is a sign of strength. Offer hope where possible but don’t make promises you can’t keep. 

“I appreciate you talking to me. How can I be most helpful?” 

Share information about the resources available and ensure they know you are not simply passing them off. Rather, you are directing them to the best possible support. If you’re unsure of what resource is best, we’d recommend providing information on several. We produce a free resources card annually that you can provide to students. Email counselling@smu.ca to request copies (both electronic or paper formats). The card has options for on- or off-campus support, 24-hour or limited-availability services, virtual or in-person delivery, peer or professional-based formats and self-directed learning. 

“There are resources available I can tell you a bit about. Would that be okay?” 

• Be up to date on the resources available, including locations, contact information, how to access etc. Seek more information about resources if you’re unsure.
• Only speak positively about resources and answer questions to the best of your ability.
• Give students options and choice in the process.
• Be with the student while they contact a resource, if they’re hesitant, or contact a resource on their behalf, with their permission. Note that many services are self refer so the student needs to be an active participant at some point in the process.
• Remind students that many services are free of charge.

• Respect their decision.
• Invite them to reach out to you again in the future if they want to talk about their options further or offer to follow-up at a later date to check-in, without demanding information about the steps they did or did not take.
• Provide take away materials (electronic or paper) for them to review later.